Collegiate Coaching as a Profession

[coach1]

I would like to just listen to the thoughts of some other coaches regarding work-life balance, and job satisfaction. 

First about me and my situation.. I have coached at several different universities as an assistant, having some level of success. I have worked with some great people, and so appreciated those experiences as they have helped me grow in many ways. I am passionate about the game and love the amount of personal interaction you can have with others in coaching. I have been told that I am talented and work hard, however, I feel quite disillusioned presently with the profession and find myself at a crossroads where I am considering pursuing another career.

The game of volleyball has been my love and coaching has been my life for the past 15 years (play/coach). I have come to suspect that the highest levels of success and having life balance are simply not compatible. 

This is a hard realization for me because I very much want to shoot for excellence but I also want to have some semblance of a life outside of work. 

I am considering leaving something that I love because I am too competitive to do it at a marginal level, but I am not ok with de-prioritizing family. I also strongly feel the burden of obligation and the desire to take care of the players I have recruited to my program. 

I may have written this poorly because my mind is a little cluttered right now. I think I'm feeling what Terry Pettit described as the 'dark night of the soul' that some coaches encounter. While there are many harder situations out there in the world right now, this for me has been my life work, and I am trying to decide if I should leave, and whether or not I can be compatible with this profession.

Would anyone care to share some thoughts or experiences? Am I off base in some way? 

[vbgirls2]

You don't say if you are male or female, that does make a difference. I coach at a DI school in a different sport. My suggestion to you is don't leave the coaching field, you will miss it terribly and nothing will compare to the satisfaction and relationships you have with your team. Work relationships outside of coaching are no where near like this. (with coaching staff and teammates). However, you can have your cake and eat it to, by coaching at a different level. Division II and DIII positions are more likely to give you some balance between your family life and your work life. You also have to be able to draw the line yourself. You can't go home and eat and breathe VB and not devote time to your family. You have to be able to let it go. This may not be possible at a high powered DI school.

The school that I coach at is now DI, but when my children were small we were a DII school. I am very glad that it was that way. You can be the best program at your school and in your conference. You can even be at the top of the Division and still experience success and feelings of accomplishment. I do not regret for one moment the time I chose to spend with my children. My children were my first priority and not my job. I would feel terrible if my kids would have thought that they came second to my job. That is not why I married, or why I had children. I suspect you are having feelings of disillusionment because your job is taking time away from your family. Maybe you work for a head coach that doesn't have the same ideas of family and fee time that you do. That is why you should be a head coach, you can set your own schedule. My girls were 3-4 sport athletes and I never missed a game.

Volleyball is Volleyball. With your level of experience you should be able to secure a head job at a lower level,and create that balance between work and family and play. Stay in coaching, just do it as a head coach where you have more control, and also at a lower level program. You will be surprised how you can get the "fire and excitement back"

[vballgirl88]

I agree with vbgirls2. I think you need to look elsewhere other than DI. DII, DIII, and NAIA programs can provide you with exactly what you are looking for.

[gigibear]

Not a coach....but understand how you feel/think....

I am in another profession where the highest levels do impact negatively on family life/work balance. When one is young, one has the energy, the drive and commitment to pursue high levels in anything. No one tells you, but often what it takes to get there is what it takes to stay there.

There is a season in our lives where we pause and think, what am I doing, where do I want to go from here, and what will it take. Seems you have arrived at this point. And guess what, it may not be the only time you think it. You are not alone.

That's why some lawyers become authors, some doctors become experts on the speaking circuit, some in other fields of life choose teaching.

Don't know if club ball is attractive to you, but it can be very satisfying to teach the craft you are passionate about on impressionable and eager little ones. The look on their faces when they achieve a simple thing brings such joy to one's heart. This paired with whatever career your degree has qualified you for can be as equally satisfying as being at the top of the heap in this one.

Public accolades and your name on the door last a season, especially in volleyball. Gifting others with your knowledge, wisdom and presence in their lives, priceless.

[coachwpassion]

Feb 18, 2015 14:37:57 GMT -5 vbgirls2 said:

You don't say if you are male or female, that does make a difference. I coach at a DI school in a different sport. My suggestion to you is don't leave the coaching field, you will miss it terribly and nothing will compare to the satisfaction and relationships you have with your team. Work relationships outside of coaching are no where near like this. (with coaching staff and teammates). However, you can have your cake and eat it to, by coaching at a different level. Division II and DIII positions are more likely to give you some balance between your family life and your work life. You also have to be able to draw the line yourself. You can't go home and eat and breathe VB and not devote time to your family. You have to be able to let it go. This may not be possible at a high powered DI school.

The school that I coach at is now DI, but when my children were small we were a DII school. I am very glad that it was that way. You can be the best program at your school and in your conference. You can even be at the top of the Division and still experience success and feelings of accomplishment. I do not regret for one moment the time I chose to spend with my children. My children were my first priority and not my job. I would feel terrible if my kids would have thought that they came second to my job. That is not why I married, or why I had children. I suspect you are having feelings of disillusionment because your job is taking time away from your family. Maybe you work for a head coach that doesn't have the same ideas of family and fee time that you do. That is why you should be a head coach, you can set your own schedule. My girls were 3-4 sport athletes and I never missed a game.

Volleyball is Volleyball. With your level of experience you should be able to secure a head job at a lower level,and create that balance between work and family and play. Stay in coaching, just do it as a head coach where you have more control, and also at a lower level program. You will be surprised how you can get the "fire and excitement back"

While I agree with the jist of what you are saying, why does it matter if coach1 is male or female?  I would suspect that regardless of gender, the pull of work-life balance is equal.  Some women may be less inclined than others and the same holds true for men.

Having been at Div II as a player and coach and now at Div I I can say with absolute certainty that work-life balance depends on the institution and level.  Some Div II are fully funded, have 1-2 assistants and no other duties.  Other Div II expect winning seasons, post season play, and then handicap you with no full time assistant or GA plus teaching duties of 6-9 credit hours a semester.

The biggest thing everyone is saying is that you can have both- you just need the right situation.  That situation can happen at any level but I am more inclined to believe there is more opportunity at the D2 and D3 levels.

Hope this helps.

[d3coach]

I agree with coachwpassion. Gender doesn't make a difference. I'm a male, and was a DIII coach for over a decade (asst and head). In the end I got out because I couldn't find the right balance that allowed me to be successful as a coach and father/husband. Even though it was DIII, and the balance is supposed to be better, the combination of conference and regional competitiveness, our location and distance from recruiting sites, academic class schedules, secondary/tertiary duties, minimal staffing, etc... all made the balance skew in a direction that didn't work for me and my family. There are situations that I think would be more manageable, but I opted to get out because moving wasn't the right choice for my family right now.

Will I coach college again? Maybe. Maybe if we move and I find an ideal fit. Maybe as a part-time or volunteer. Maybe when my family is at a different stage. But right now the balance wasn't right.

So in the end, I guess my point is that it is simply a personal/family decision. Can you find a situation that fits the lifestyle you want in coaching? Sure, much like for student-athletes, there is a fit for everyone. However it is competitive and getting the right fit as a career can be tough.

[livbfan]

Though things are changing, it is hard to deny that society puts more pressure on women in that regard. Many get the not so friendly, unsolicited reminder that a certain window doesn't stay open forever. Then after that there is the tongue clicking and hand wringing over "how many days is she away from home?!?"

Generally, men escape this. Though this isn't exclusive to collegiate coaching. Women in ibanking or sales face the same pressures.

[BitterOldDude]

I've been a college head coach for 27 years, at all three NCAA levels. The thing about college coaching, no matter what level, is that the work is never done. You can always recruit more. You can always spend time in the gym, training kids. You can always go see girls play; they are playing somewhere right now. It never stops. My ex-wife didn't understand this. My ex-girlfriend didn't understand this. My current wife asked me to leave a pretty good D-I situation so I could spend more time with her and her kids, away from the game, and I did it because she's pretty terrific. Now, back in D-III, working without 'real' assistant coaches, I find myself up against it at both ends; not enough time to do my job the way I'd like to, and not enough time to fully engage at home.

So the question I have for you is this- How is your support system? If your partner is truly supportive of what you want to do, you'll be fine, but in my travels, I haven't met too many coaches' partners who actually 'get it'. What we do as coaches takes time and more importantly, emotional commitment to people who aren't your 'real' family, but are a part of your life for the four years they play for you, and maybe after too. I haven't found a way to make it balance, even in semi-competitive D-III. Maybe you can.

Good luck.

[Deleted]

What about your current situation makes you unhappy?
What about coaching makes you happy?

Somewhere there is a level that provides what you are looking for--but I think you need to be mentally clear with yourself first.

[pancake83]

His avatar says he's a male, just in case anyone is wondering

I've been on the college side and club side of this dilemma of finding a work/life balance, and both sides have their positives and negatives. It really comes down to time management, your personal support at home, and your boss/administration. If your boss/administration has/have family of their own, they may have a little more empathy to your situation - obviously there are times when something needs to get done and times you may not see your family for most of the day/week/month depending on the time of the year, but hopefully your superiors realize this and give you a little more leeway when you have some down time or a free afternoon/morning to let you enjoy your family. Talking about this very point with a coaching colleague, we came to the conclusion that if you were working at a stuffy corporate job that's 8-5 with traffic travel time in addition to your normal work day, you may not have the same flexibility that being a coach affords you to. Now, your financial situation may or may not be different when comparing these two scenarios, but you have to ask what's the price of your peace of mind and doing what you love?

Every situation is different, and you don't want to be thinking about what you may be missing if you leave.

Just MHO

[vbprisoner]

Every coaching job at the collegiate level has the same issues, and when you are competitive and want to move up the latter you usually try to work harder or longer hours because there is always something that needs to be done. In the corp. world the same thing goes on but as pancake said you may not have the flexibility with your time you have now and if you are doing something you love you are blessed.

You need to become a master of time mgmt., and if you are an assistant coach you are usually the one delegated to so figure out how to work smarter and not longer. If you are at a program that is big and there are coaches with less seniority or under you figure out if you can delegate tasks or chores to the other assistants and if you make it a learning experience for them then things become more efficient and they grow as coaches. Whatever level of coach you are you need to utilize good business practices as well, inspect what you expect and things get done correctly the first time, hold everyone accountable and even if you are tough everyone will know you are fair.

As for balancing work and family... you can carve out a certain non negotiable amount of time every week, and this does not have to be the same day(s) or time every week, that is family time. Things always come up, so be flexible but meet your family time goals because this will be healthy for you too. There will be weeks you have more time available and also in spring possibly and you have to plan your work and work your plan!

[donneyp]

This isn't about coaching, it is an issue with any high responsibility job and the American business/work culture in general.

Before coaching I worked in politics and my first day I started to pack up at 6pm (secretaries left at 5pm) and the boss asks "You are are taking half days already?" The standard was 9am to about 7:30 and before elections we would "volunteer" from 6-9am and 6-11pm to help elect the people who would keep you employed.

I have friends in law and medicine who work hours that I think are incredible.

I had a friend who sold copy machines and another who was a head hunter who were out to Chamber of Commerce type functions 4 nights a week after putting in a full day in the office.

Coaches joke about professors' hours but to be fair, they go home to research and write books in their "free time" because of the pressure to publish.

And on the flip side, most of the people I know who aren't working too many hours are complaining that they don't have enough money. There are not a lot of people who work 35 hours a week and have everything they want.

[Kamali'i-7]

if you can do it, get a credential for teaching.

if you can't stay away from the game for too long, get involved with reffing or offering private lessons. 

keep your family above work.
---

try competitive badminton!  

[bananasplit]

Don't. Do. It. Spin your wheels in coaching I mean. I know this is my own prerogative but you asked for opinions and here it is. You will continue to work for crazy head coaches and lose jobs to under qualified females who ride the power wave all the way to shore. You will work as an assistant to those same under qualified coaches who are so insecure and busy competing with their own players and talking about the glory days of when they played, that they won't notice that it's really you who is holding the program together and finding some success in spite of yourselves. Once said coach realizes she really has no respect or authority you're the first one on the chopping block for some asinine reason. You scramble for the next opportunity to make sure your family eats and has a roof over their head and you end up at some remote Podunk school barely making ends meet. Meanwhile the program you left tanks and no one attributes that to the fact that you aren't there anymore. They are just rebuilding. You find a male head coach to work for and he's single. He obsesses over the W-L record and his moods day to day resemble a big city skyline. This is just a stepping stone til you get your own program. You take a random head coaching job. You flail around waiting for your big break. Truth is you're another 5 years out from that at best. You continue to lose great gigs to 30 u 30's with a mango. Kids come in and do a hitting approach that the Tasmanian Devil would envy, but they don't wanna be coached. They want a pat on the shoulder and to be told Penn State missed an opportunity on them. Mom and Dad are in your grill constantly letting you know exactly how horrible of a person you are. Honey Boo Boo is the next big international star and you are destroying her by having her be the team manager. She got drunk last weekend at a party and hit a parked car on the way home driving. Oops. Oh yeah your family's livelihood is based on the decision making abilities of college girls. Good luck with that.

[s0uthie]

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