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Post by Deleted on Jun 29, 2015 17:24:28 GMT -5
This puts us that much closer to an Easy Hooker reunion on the National Team Unsure if serious. I share this sentiment. I think c4ndlelight couldn't let this one pass. Just like other players from Texas. Couldn't pass.
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Post by rainbowbadger on Jun 29, 2015 18:10:06 GMT -5
Dear Destinee,
Both Gmail and PayPal offer two-step authentication. I suggest you enable it.
Sincerely, A concerned fan
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Post by FOBRA on Jun 29, 2015 18:14:05 GMT -5
Dear Destinee, Both Gmail and PayPal offer two-step authentication. I suggest you enable it. Sincerely, A concerned fan Also change your password! H00K3M! is probably not a great idea for a password.
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Post by rainbowbadger on Jun 29, 2015 18:21:16 GMT -5
Dear Destinee, Both Gmail and PayPal offer two-step authentication. I suggest you enable it. Sincerely, A concerned fan Also change your password! H00K3M! is probably not a great idea for a password. How about 12345?
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Post by mikegarrison on Jun 29, 2015 18:42:35 GMT -5
Also change your password! H00K3M! is probably not a great idea for a password. How about 12345? That's a weak password because it's not at least eight characters. Try 12345678 and see if it works better for you.
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Post by lionsfan on Jun 29, 2015 19:21:58 GMT -5
Try 12345678 and see if it works better for you. You can't go wrong with that one.
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Post by nativevolley on Jun 30, 2015 5:33:47 GMT -5
What the freak....
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Post by s0uthie on Jun 30, 2015 15:25:11 GMT -5
Also change your password! H00K3M! is probably not a great idea for a password. How about 12345?
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Post by Deleted on Jun 30, 2015 16:07:54 GMT -5
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Post by sportsfun on Jul 3, 2015 18:34:20 GMT -5
I can usually joke about nearly anything but nothing about these jokes seem funny or original. It sounds as though she was in a very abusive, controlling, and scary situation but she managed to leave. Statistics show that women are in infinitely more danger for a period of time after they leave and she very well may be in survival mode. God only knows what she is contending with right now. Considering he sounds like the stereotypical domestic violence control freak he may have had a key logger secretly installed on her computer. Or she may be so damn traumatized she forgot to change her password. Whatever the case, she got out! She has left and the best action we can take is to be supportive and encouraging - not poke fun at what is another situation where he is attempting to exert control, take her money, and humiliate her. Instead of taking time to write jokes here why not take that same amount of time to send her an encouraging message via private message on FB? I have been very concerned about her and continue to be worried. She should be commended for having the courage to leave, particularly after this was made so public and while in the DV cycle she was defending him. I wish her safety first and foremost, as well as support from everyone in her personal life and the entire volleyball community. God knows she needs that far more than jokes that she may read and would obviously be another source of embarrassment and pain.
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Post by rainbowbadger on Jul 4, 2015 9:16:16 GMT -5
Okay, yo, I was just making stupid password jokes. I snorted at the idea of "HOOK3M!" as a password. It was not directed at Destinee. So if she is reading this, I hope she knows that I wasn't meaning to make a dig at her. I do want to encourage everyone on here to enable two-step authentication everywhere you possibly can. Most places have it now: Facebook & Twitter, Google & Yahoo, PayPal, and TurboTax have all added it. LifeHacker has a good list. lifehacker.com/5938565/heres-everywhere-you-should-enable-two-factor-authentication-right-nowI'm frankly surprised that more bank and credit card websites/apps don't have this feature, but I'm sure that will change. Oh well. Just make sure you have strong/unique passwords for those. Why am I so big on this? Because I have evidence that two-step authentication has saved me from having both my Google account and my PayPal account hacked. As for the IPV bit, I absolutely do not take it lightly, and I am so relieved that Destinee was able to get herself and her daughter out of that situation. I have helped a couple of friends get out, in some cases years after I had suspicions that their partners were abusive, and all of them have described to me the what is essentially brainwashing that takes place. In most cases, the mind games, gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional abuse go on for a long time before the abuser lays a hand on his partner, and by that point, the victim is groomed to think that the abuse is somehow justified by her actions. It can take a long time for victims to come around to realizing that they deserve better, and even after that, they are often trapped in the relationship for other reasons, like transportation or finances or children, and they're often so cut off from their friends and family by that point that they think they have no one to turn to for help. It's not like they can safely google "How to leave an abusive relationship." One of my friends didn't have any bank accounts or money of her own. Everything was in the jerk's name. She didn't even have her own email address (the one they shared was "hisnamenandhername at domain dot com" and he would often change the password on her and make her ask for it; it didn't occur to her to set up her own email address). Another friend did have access to some funds, but most things were joint, so the first thing we did for her was set her up with a new email address and help her open a new bank account. But they had us, and unfortunately several of us have experience in getting people out of IPV situations. So many women don't have these resources. Also - it's a pain in the butt to set up a new email address. Why do you think I'm so paranoid about being hacked? When everything in life is so tied to your email address - banks, social media, PayPal - switching email addresses is insanely hard. Especially when you have a whole company and brand identity like Destinee does, you probably want to keep the existing email address so that everyone knows where to contact you. TL;DR - It's crappy that this happened to Destinee on top of everything else, and I don't think it's her fault - haters gonna hate, manipulaters gonna manipulate, and abusers gonna abuse. I'm glad she's safe, and hope she continues to be so. I was just hoping to use this as a teachable moment for everyone else on safer interneting.
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Post by sportsfun on Jul 4, 2015 16:51:33 GMT -5
Okay, yo, I was just making stupid password jokes. I snorted at the idea of "HOOK3M!" as a password. It was not directed at Destinee. So if she is reading this, I hope she knows that I wasn't meaning to make a dig at her. I do want to encourage everyone on here to enable two-step authentication everywhere you possibly can. Most places have it now: Facebook & Twitter, Google & Yahoo, PayPal, and TurboTax have all added it. LifeHacker has a good list. lifehacker.com/5938565/heres-everywhere-you-should-enable-two-factor-authentication-right-nowI'm frankly surprised that more bank and credit card websites/apps don't have this feature, but I'm sure that will change. Oh well. Just make sure you have strong/unique passwords for those. Why am I so big on this? Because I have evidence that two-step authentication has saved me from having both my Google account and my PayPal account hacked. As for the IPV bit, I absolutely do not take it lightly, and I am so relieved that Destinee was able to get herself and her daughter out of that situation. I have helped a couple of friends get out, in some cases years after I had suspicions that their partners were abusive, and all of them have described to me the what is essentially brainwashing that takes place. In most cases, the mind games, gaslighting, manipulation, and emotional abuse go on for a long time before the abuser lays a hand on his partner, and by that point, the victim is groomed to think that the abuse is somehow justified by her actions. It can take a long time for victims to come around to realizing that they deserve better, and even after that, they are often trapped in the relationship for other reasons, like transportation or finances or children, and they're often so cut off from their friends and family by that point that they think they have no one to turn to for help. It's not like they can safely google "How to leave an abusive relationship." One of my friends didn't have any bank accounts or money of her own. Everything was in the jerk's name. She didn't even have her own email address (the one they shared was "hisnamenandhername at domain dot com" and he would often change the password on her and make her ask for it; it didn't occur to her to set up her own email address). Another friend did have access to some funds, but most things were joint, so the first thing we did for her was set her up with a new email address and help her open a new bank account. But they had us, and unfortunately several of us have experience in getting people out of IPV situations. So many women don't have these resources. Also - it's a pain in the butt to set up a new email address. Why do you think I'm so paranoid about being hacked? When everything in life is so tied to your email address - banks, social media, PayPal - switching email addresses is insanely hard. Especially when you have a whole company and brand identity like Destinee does, you probably want to keep the existing email address so that everyone knows where to contact you. TL;DR - It's crappy that this happened to Destinee on top of everything else, and I don't think it's her fault - haters gonna hate, manipulaters gonna manipulate, and abusers gonna abuse. I'm glad she's safe, and hope she continues to be so. I was just hoping to use this as a teachable moment for everyone else on safer interneting. You wrote a wonderfully educational post and I hope everyone takes the time to read it. I didn't think anyone meant any harm. However, it would be painful if the jokes were about you or your loved one. I imagine she is scared, angry, and embarrassed, particularly after so publically defending him. Frankly, I am surprised she got out so soon. Most DV victims don't ever leave or take several more years to do so. For the one or two surmising that she left because he had messed with her finances or reputation, if you believe her dad (there's no reason not to) her abuser had been doing that for years. I rather doubt she would have been ok with being hit, her daughter seeing or at least hearing it, and the potential safety risks to her child as long as he didn't mess with her money or reputation. That type of shaming is all too common for DV victims and when done by those close to them often makes them feel alienated and running back to the always "sorry", I'll change this time, abuser. It doesn't matter what caused her to leave but based on her father's post a long time ago she didn't leave because he all of a sudden took her money or damaged her reputation. I was thrilled when Karch kicked her off the team because I was hoping it would sink in and help her leave but we all saw that even after losing what she had worked most of her life for that she continued to stay for quite some time. The great news is that she left but I worry very much for her safety (especially when sharing a child) once his games are shut down and he has no leverage over her. The fact that he was willing to take legal risks to embarrass her and get her money concerns me. Did anyone else notice that her dad is back to managing her? I am happy to see that they were able to mend the relationship because she needs a ton of support. Hopefully she either has or will get a lot of guidance from a professional specializing in threat assessment, safety, and DV. Once she gets through the embarrassment stage I hope that she realizes she has a tremendous opportunity to show that this can truly happen to anyone and even though you are physically strong, accomplished, and crazy talented that you too can be a victim. Considering the worldwide popularity of the game she has the opportunity to motivate victims everywhere to become survivors too.
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Post by VBCOACH on Jul 23, 2015 16:35:54 GMT -5
Destinee's scheduled camp ay Sky High Volleyball in Crystal Lake Il for July 30-31 is ON! Destinee confirmed it by phone with Sky High. They are accepting same day registrations because of the confusion.
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Post by Vballin on Jul 23, 2015 23:31:55 GMT -5
If he really did this then the bum needs to be thrown in jail!
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Post by SportyBucky on Jul 24, 2015 7:48:40 GMT -5
I can usually joke about nearly anything but nothing about these jokes seem funny or original. It sounds as though she was in a very abusive, controlling, and scary situation but she managed to leave. Statistics show that women are in infinitely more danger for a period of time after they leave and she very well may be in survival mode. God only knows what she is contending with right now. Considering he sounds like the stereotypical domestic violence control freak he may have had a key logger secretly installed on her computer. Or she may be so damn traumatized she forgot to change her password. Whatever the case, she got out! She has left and the best action we can take is to be supportive and encouraging - not poke fun at what is another situation where he is attempting to exert control, take her money, and humiliate her. Instead of taking time to write jokes here why not take that same amount of time to send her an encouraging message via private message on FB? I have been very concerned about her and continue to be worried. She should be commended for having the courage to leave, particularly after this was made so public and while in the DV cycle she was defending him. I wish her safety first and foremost, as well as support from everyone in her personal life and the entire volleyball community. God knows she needs that far more than jokes that she may read and would obviously be another source of embarrassment and pain. #overreaction
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