|
Post by 402 on Feb 9, 2018 8:44:48 GMT -5
Is that how the boys are raised in Wisconsin, badger? No wonder you’re all so angry and easily provoked on this website. 🙈🙉🙊 We all know Wisconsin leads the nation with racial discrimination in employment, education, housing, and the criminal justice system, so it’s not surprising to learn how Wisconsin ranks FIFTH in the nation for the highest rates of domestic violence. www.goodhousekeeping.com/life/relationships/a37005/statistics-about-domestic-violence/Just wow. Yes, very dire times in Wisconsin.
|
|
|
Post by vbman100 on Feb 9, 2018 8:57:29 GMT -5
We all know Wisconsin leads the nation with racial discrimination in employment, education, housing, and the criminal justice system We do?
|
|
|
Post by vbman100 on Feb 9, 2018 9:06:40 GMT -5
I know competition in sports is normal as girls jockey for position. As adults what can be done to minimize some of the "petty jealousies" (per the article linked) that arise within the ranks of our girls' sport? My own theory is that in the creation of a scapegoat the players themselves shirk the responsibilities of their own errors and have someone else to blame. That's why video is so great! I wish more coaches would pursue watching video after game play to help players understand their own playing issues and work on improvement. Anyway here is the link. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the topic. www.competitivedge.com/petty-jealousies-sportDo you think any of it has to do with parents that have a discussion with their kid on the way home from a match/tournament and saying "I don't see why that girl is playing instead of you" or "I can't believe your coach gives her 10 chances to make a mistake but takes you out after 1 mistake" and conversations like that? If a parent says "Did you play your best?, Did you give your best effort?, Were you respectful to your teammates? Did you listen to your coaches?" then I think teammate to teammate meanness can be curbed if that is the more common conversation. As to video, I once pulled a player aside completely separate and nonchalantly from the team during a water break, giving no indication to the team why I was pulling her aside, showed her some video of something that happened a few seconds earlier in practice where she was giving poor effort, and she still saw it as me "yelling at her" and "picking on her in front of her teammates" so sometimes that doesn't work out either.
|
|
|
Post by rainbowbadger on Feb 9, 2018 10:44:15 GMT -5
I know competition in sports is normal as girls jockey for position. As adults what can be done to minimize some of the "petty jealousies" (per the article linked) that arise within the ranks of our girls' sport? My own theory is that in the creation of a scapegoat the players themselves shirk the responsibilities of their own errors and have someone else to blame. That's why video is so great! I wish more coaches would pursue watching video after game play to help players understand their own playing issues and work on improvement. Anyway here is the link. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the topic. www.competitivedge.com/petty-jealousies-sportDo you think any of it has to do with parents that have a discussion with their kid on the way home from a match/tournament and saying "I don't see why that girl is playing instead of you" or "I can't believe your coach gives her 10 chances to make a mistake but takes you out after 1 mistake" and conversations like that? If a parent says "Did you play your best?, Did you give your best effort?, Were you respectful to your teammates? Did you listen to your coaches?" then I think teammate to teammate meanness can be curbed if that is the more common conversation. This probably has a ton to do with it. Parents should not be trash talking other players or the coach to their child. As to video, I once pulled a player aside completely separate and nonchalantly from the team during a water break, giving no indication to the team why I was pulling her aside, showed her some video of something that happened a few seconds earlier in practice where she was giving poor effort, and she still saw it as me "yelling at her" and "picking on her in front of her teammates" so sometimes that doesn't work out either. Sigh. You can’t win. It’s like you need video of yourself doing video review. Maybe wait until after practice? Only thing I can think of. But that assumes you have unlimited time. It also eliminates the chance to correct things more in the moment. But sheesh.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 11:04:30 GMT -5
Girls aren't born like this. They learn it from somewhere. And it's on the adults around them to break the cycle and teach them better. I do think girls are born like this, I am a female and I can tell you we can be very catty...I've worked with a group of women and it was horrible, the backstabbing and animosity was really bad. They tend to hold grudges. I now work with all men and while they can get pissy sometimes, they are over it the next day, they move on quicker than females.
|
|
|
Post by maɡˈnōlēə on Feb 9, 2018 11:04:53 GMT -5
I know competition in sports is normal as girls jockey for position. As adults what can be done to minimize some of the "petty jealousies" (per the article linked) that arise within the ranks of our girls' sport? My own theory is that in the creation of a scapegoat the players themselves shirk the responsibilities of their own errors and have someone else to blame. That's why video is so great! I wish more coaches would pursue watching video after game play to help players understand their own playing issues and work on improvement. Anyway here is the link. I'd love to hear your thoughts on the topic. www.competitivedge.com/petty-jealousies-sportDo you think any of it has to do with parents that have a discussion with their kid on the way home from a match/tournament and saying "I don't see why that girl is playing instead of you" or "I can't believe your coach gives her 10 chances to make a mistake but takes you out after 1 mistake" and conversations like that? If a parent says "Did you play your best?, Did you give your best effort?, Were you respectful to your teammates? Did you listen to your coaches?" then I think teammate to teammate meanness can be curbed if that is the more common conversation. As to video, I once pulled a player aside completely separate and nonchalantly from the team during a water break, giving no indication to the team why I was pulling her aside, showed her some video of something that happened a few seconds earlier in practice where she was giving poor effort, and she still saw it as me "yelling at her" and "picking on her in front of her teammates" so sometimes that doesn't work out either. I apologize for the long quote, responding from my phone and I can't bear to edit the HTML code for quoting while responding. My only thought is is that the videoed player was too close to the situation in that moment. Other than that it is possible that she is just one of those individuals that's quick to see how others treat her and never how she treats others. Not a rare occurrence amongst groups of people and it seems to have become more common in the selfie obsessed sect. Maybe showing the full video in the next practice or calling them early before or staying after practice as problems occur. When my daughter played for SP in years past the girls did a WHOLE lot of bonding, club sanctioned, off the court. I believe it contributed heavily to the TEAM > ME vibe and while sometimes inconvenient it was actually awesome team building activity. The peer pressure to be team oriented is something she experienced as well. When she first got to the club she was shy AND hard on herself and one of her teammates remarked to her that they thought at first that she would be the one to being the team down (in truth she was just socially not comfortable there yet and withdrawn and making a lot of mistakes at first and beating herself up). After she heard that from one of the girls on one of the team bonding trips she told me flat out that she was determined to NEVER be thought of as that kind of player again. And she's stuck by it. Peer pressure by way of constructive or maybe not so constructive criticism is powerful. Maybe having the captains watch the video before showing it to the team and telling the player "HEY! Quit the attitude" is the way to go sometimes.
|
|
|
Post by maɡˈnōlēə on Feb 9, 2018 11:09:06 GMT -5
Girls aren't born like this. They learn it from somewhere. And it's on the adults around them to break the cycle and teach them better. I do think girls are born like this, I am a female and I can tell you we can be very catty...I've worked with a group of women and it was horrible, the backstabbing and animosity was really bad. They tend to hold grudges. I now work with all men and while they can get pissy sometimes, they are over it the next day, they move on quicker than females. To a degree I agree but I think the one upmanship that exists isn't something that all women are born with or adept at doing. That comes from childhood, from whatever role models that exist and from the media's view of what women are. While there was a lot of unnecessary drama and bullying during my adolescence I think the rate of relational aggression has definitely risen amongst girls as they jockey for social position. I may even go as far as saying movies like "Mean Girls" have been modeled by some young ladies as they attempt to climb the social ladder (not necessarily in volleyball).
|
|
|
Post by BuckysHeat on Feb 9, 2018 11:15:07 GMT -5
I do think girls are born like this, I am a female and I can tell you we can be very catty...I've worked with a group of women and it was horrible, the backstabbing and animosity was really bad. They tend to hold grudges. I now work with all men and while they can get pissy sometimes, they are over it the next day, they move on quicker than females. To a degree I agree but I think the one upmanship that exists isn't something that all women are born with or adept at doing. That comes from childhood, from whatever role models that exist and from the media's view of what women are. While there was a lot of unnecessary drama and bullying during my adolescence I think the rate of relational aggression has definitely risen amongst girls as they jockey for social position. I may even go as far as saying movies like "Mean Girls" have been modeled by some young ladies as they attempt to climb the social ladder (not necessarily in volleyball). A bus will straighten that attitude out
|
|
|
Post by donut on Feb 9, 2018 11:16:02 GMT -5
Girls aren't born like this. They learn it from somewhere. And it's on the adults around them to break the cycle and teach them better. I do think girls are born like this, I am a female and I can tell you we can be very catty...I've worked with a group of women and it was horrible, the backstabbing and animosity was really bad. They tend to hold grudges. I now work with all men and while they can get pissy sometimes, they are over it the next day, they move on quicker than females. I would say that's a product of modern society, not a biological or "natural" trait. There is a ton of literature about the effects of a male-dominated work culture on women's behavior - how it causes women to be competitive or "catty" with one another and be more "intense" than their male counterparts.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 11:30:30 GMT -5
I do think girls are born like this, I am a female and I can tell you we can be very catty...I've worked with a group of women and it was horrible, the backstabbing and animosity was really bad. They tend to hold grudges. I now work with all men and while they can get pissy sometimes, they are over it the next day, they move on quicker than females. I would say that's a product of modern society, not a biological or "natural" trait. There is a ton of literature about the effects of a male-dominated work culture on women's behavior - how it causes women to be competitive or "catty" with one another and be more "intense" than their male counterparts. It's just been my personal experience from working with both male and females and I prefer the males.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 11:50:08 GMT -5
I would say that's a product of modern society, not a biological or "natural" trait. There is a ton of literature about the effects of a male-dominated work culture on women's behavior - how it causes women to be competitive or "catty" with one another and be more "intense" than their male counterparts. It's just been my personal experience from working with both male and females and I prefer the males. You've given zero evidence to support your opinion that women are born that way vs. socialized that way. Your examples seem to support the latter idea. Do you understand the difference?
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 12:36:26 GMT -5
It's just been my personal experience from working with both male and females and I prefer the males. You've given zero evidence to support your opinion that women are born that way vs. socialized that way. Your examples seem to support the latter idea. Do you understand the difference? I don't have to give anyone anything, it's my opinion, you don't like it? Move on.
|
|
Deleted
Deleted Member
Posts: 0
|
Post by Deleted on Feb 9, 2018 12:55:50 GMT -5
You've given zero evidence to support your opinion that women are born that way vs. socialized that way. Your examples seem to support the latter idea. Do you understand the difference? I don't have to give anyone anything, it's my opinion, you don't like it? Move on. So you don't understand the difference.
|
|
|
Post by maɡˈnōlēə on Feb 9, 2018 13:01:36 GMT -5
To a degree I agree but I think the one upmanship that exists isn't something that all women are born with or adept at doing. That comes from childhood, from whatever role models that exist and from the media's view of what women are. While there was a lot of unnecessary drama and bullying during my adolescence I think the rate of relational aggression has definitely risen amongst girls as they jockey for social position. I may even go as far as saying movies like "Mean Girls" have been modeled by some young ladies as they attempt to climb the social ladder (not necessarily in volleyball). A bus will straighten that attitude out I laughed because while it's the worst situation to end up in it does seem to have some parallel to once someone lives through some sh!t they tend to become better people. Save
|
|
|
Post by donut on Feb 9, 2018 14:13:18 GMT -5
I would say that's a product of modern society, not a biological or "natural" trait. There is a ton of literature about the effects of a male-dominated work culture on women's behavior - how it causes women to be competitive or "catty" with one another and be more "intense" than their male counterparts. It's just been my personal experience from working with both male and females and I prefer the males. Ok - which again is the result of societal factors, not innate qualities of being a woman. I personally think that you should be celebrating other women in the workforce and supporting their successes and not just "hanging with the dudes" because it's easier. That probably contributes to the issue.
|
|