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Post by donut on Feb 10, 2018 18:34:49 GMT -5
Indeed. You've posted stories about other women like five times in this thread already. Anonymously. Nothing worse than women tearing other women down. Males and females can both be cruel. They just have different methods and recovery processes. They also draw different reactions by observers. I could post a dozen stories here every day after coming home from working in HS guidance. When females are the perps, it's a clutch-pearl reaction. When males are involved, it's an eye-roll or sigh. Was, is, always will be. That's life. No chance that has to do with the fact boys are taught to conceal their emotions?
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Post by Deleted on Feb 10, 2018 18:48:58 GMT -5
This literally hurts my eyes dunc....really? What I have personally experienced on THIS thread is that MEN keep WOMEN down in your own words, that has been your whole defense while at the same time you are putting me down in every possible way. Hypocrite much? I mentioned a situation with my 4 year old and her playmates being manipulative and your response was something like...how did your 4 yr old with her womanly ways manipulate the situation? Not sure of the exact wording but think you could find it pretty quickly...I never mentioned which child was acting out but you took it upon yourself to assume and you were wrong.
I am on this thread because I LOVE Volleyball. Do yourself a favor...and just forget me please. I do not post a lot so that probably won't be a problem so if you see me post in the future, please just move on and I will do the same for you.
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Post by donut on Feb 10, 2018 20:14:27 GMT -5
This literally hurts my eyes dunc....really? What I have personally experienced on THIS thread is that MEN keep WOMEN down in your own words, that has been your whole defense while at the same time you are putting me down in every possible way. Hypocrite much? I'm pointing out that you're wrong and your comments are harmful towards women. That's not putting you down. I mentioned a situation with my 4 year old and her playmates being manipulative and your response was something like...how did your 4 yr old with her womanly ways manipulate the situation? Not sure of the exact wording but think you could find it pretty quickly...I never mentioned which child was acting out but you took it upon yourself to assume and you were wrong. I am on this thread because I LOVE Volleyball. Do yourself a favor...and just forget me please. I do not post a lot so that probably won't be a problem so if you see me post in the future, please just move on and I will do the same for you. My apologies -- I should have assumed that you were only talking about the OTHER 4-year-olds, not your own. My question wasn't aimed as a dig towards your daughter, but was really meant to illustrate how outlandish your claim was. So I'll rephrase - what manipulative nightmare-ish traits were the OTHER 4-year-olds displaying? Finally, I'm on this forum to exchange ideas. Feel free to stop responding to me, but I'm not going to avoid someone because they are spreading bad information. If you are here for volleyball and don't want to get into lengthy discussions, I would avoid posting claims that women are cruel and that because of that, you prefer to work with men... don't think either of those statements have to do with volleyball.
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Post by trainermch on Feb 10, 2018 20:18:52 GMT -5
Males and females can both be cruel. They just have different methods and recovery processes. They also draw different reactions by observers. I could post a dozen stories here every day after coming home from working in HS guidance. When females are the perps, it's a clutch-pearl reaction. When males are involved, it's an eye-roll or sigh. Was, is, always will be. That's life. No chance that has to do with the fact boys are taught to conceal their emotions? Too many contributing factors to consider. I am sure in some cases that would be correct.
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Post by trainermch on Feb 10, 2018 20:21:16 GMT -5
This literally hurts my eyes dunc....really? What I have personally experienced on THIS thread is that MEN keep WOMEN down in your own words, that has been your whole defense while at the same time you are putting me down in every possible way. Hypocrite much? I'm pointing out that you're wrong and your comments are harmful towards women. That's not putting you down. I mentioned a situation with my 4 year old and her playmates being manipulative and your response was something like...how did your 4 yr old with her womanly ways manipulate the situation? Not sure of the exact wording but think you could find it pretty quickly...I never mentioned which child was acting out but you took it upon yourself to assume and you were wrong. I am on this thread because I LOVE Volleyball. Do yourself a favor...and just forget me please. I do not post a lot so that probably won't be a problem so if you see me post in the future, please just move on and I will do the same for you. My apologies -- I should have assumed that you were only talking about the OTHER 4-year-olds, not your own. My question wasn't aimed as a dig towards your daughter, but was really meant to illustrate how outlandish your claim was. So I'll rephrase - what manipulative nightmare-ish traits were the OTHER 4-year-olds displaying? Finally, I'm on this forum to exchange ideas. Feel free to stop responding to me, but I'm not going to avoid someone because they are spreading bad information. If you are here for volleyball and don't want to get into lengthy discussions, I would avoid posting claims that women are cruel and that because of that, you prefer to work with men... don't think either of those statements have to do with volleyball. Just leave it. If you can't answer that question about 4 y/o manipulative behaviors, you haven't spent enough time around children. Lol. Just take our word for it.
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Post by donut on Feb 11, 2018 15:32:41 GMT -5
I'm pointing out that you're wrong and your comments are harmful towards women. That's not putting you down. My apologies -- I should have assumed that you were only talking about the OTHER 4-year-olds, not your own. My question wasn't aimed as a dig towards your daughter, but was really meant to illustrate how outlandish your claim was. So I'll rephrase - what manipulative nightmare-ish traits were the OTHER 4-year-olds displaying? Finally, I'm on this forum to exchange ideas. Feel free to stop responding to me, but I'm not going to avoid someone because they are spreading bad information. If you are here for volleyball and don't want to get into lengthy discussions, I would avoid posting claims that women are cruel and that because of that, you prefer to work with men... don't think either of those statements have to do with volleyball. Just leave it. If you can't answer that question about 4 y/o manipulative behaviors, you haven't spent enough time around children. Lol. Just take our word for it. âTake our word for itâ doesnât work on an online forum. I have no idea who you are, why would I âtake your word for it?â If this were a debate round you would be losing because of your inability to provide warrants/evidence for your claims. âLOLâ TRUST ME.
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Post by trainermch on Feb 11, 2018 15:54:27 GMT -5
Just leave it. If you can't answer that question about 4 y/o manipulative behaviors, you haven't spent enough time around children. Lol. Just take our word for it. âTake our word for itâ doesnât work on an online forum. I have no idea who you are, why would I âtake your word for it?â If this were a debate round you would be losing because of your inability to provide warrants/evidence for your claims. âLOLâ TRUST ME. Mmmkaaay...but itâs not a debate. âLOLâ
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Post by donut on Feb 11, 2018 16:07:04 GMT -5
âTake our word for itâ doesnât work on an online forum. I have no idea who you are, why would I âtake your word for it?â If this were a debate round you would be losing because of your inability to provide warrants/evidence for your claims. âLOLâ TRUST ME. Mmmkaaay...but itâs not a debate. âLOLâ Yeah, because youâre unable to provide any actual clash regarding the issue at hand.
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Post by Fight On! on Feb 11, 2018 21:12:13 GMT -5
Sport is a competitive environment requiring intensity and high expectations of onself and others if the team will ultimately succeed.
People who canât handle when a teammate gets frustrated at a bad play shouldnât be playing sports at all.
Join the book club.
Kumbaya doesnât win gold medals, as we all know.
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Post by ironhammer on Feb 12, 2018 4:05:57 GMT -5
Sport is a competitive environment requiring intensity and high expectations of onself and others if the team will ultimately succeed. People who canât handle when a teammate gets frustrated at a bad play shouldnât be playing sports at all. Join the book club. Kumbaya doesnât win gold medals, as we all know. And neither did being a catty diva helped USA volleyball win gold either... Being intense and competitive is not the same as being an a-hole. A champion has to set high standards for themselves, be tough and resilient, no question about it, but that does not automatically mean he or she HAS to be an anti-social b*tch. The two are not the same.
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Post by maÉĄËnĹlÄÉ on Feb 12, 2018 8:05:52 GMT -5
Sport is a competitive environment requiring intensity and high expectations of onself and others if the team will ultimately succeed. People who canât handle when a teammate gets frustrated at a bad play shouldnât be playing sports at all. Join the book club. Kumbaya doesnât win gold medals, as we all know. And neither did being a catty diva helped USA volleyball win golds either... Being intense and competitive is not the same as being an a-hole. A champion has to set high standards for themselves, be tough and resilient, no question about it, but that does not automatically mean he or she HAS to be an anti-social b*tch. The two is not the same. x100 There is a difference between being a jerk and being competitive but still respectful of your teammates. I get the sense some of the problem at large is people confusing this. Teams cannot win games if all the players aren't invested in one another and on the same page. If someone is spreading their negative foolishness onto other teammates then it erodes the united front of the team atmosphere. Countless coaches and athletes have discussed this over the years and I am confused how anyone believes otherwise. Being a @$$%*!* to your fellow teammates is not synonymous with being a competitive teammate. It is not the same thing.
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Post by reader on Feb 12, 2018 10:39:20 GMT -5
Sport is a competitive environment requiring intensity and high expectations of onself and others if the team will ultimately succeed. People who canât handle when a teammate gets frustrated at a bad play shouldnât be playing sports at all. Join the book club. Kumbaya doesnât win gold medals, as we all know. The other edge to that, and kind of what raised the thread in the first place, is that you don't always find a lot of Kumbaya at book club either. I guess you can tolerate more or less of this behavior depending on the context, and it'll matter more or less depending on your goals and how much time you have to spend together, but geez, when it goes bad with a group of girls/women it can go really bad.
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Post by Hawk Attack on Feb 12, 2018 11:01:06 GMT -5
I have a true story to tell and it took place in 1978. Girls are cruel. I was in 6th grade and my best friend was Kandi. There was a group of us 4 girls but there was a pecking order and Kandi was the leader...For some reason she decided that we would outcast/ignore one person in our group...that was fine until it came time for you. I will never forget that painful time, I told my Mom I was sick and could not go to school and I did this for the whole week. At the end of the week my Mom took me out shopping and to lunch. She knew something was wrong but didn't know what was going on. I found out later that my best friend Kandi...her parents were horrible alcoholics. She had no control in her life so she exerted her control on her friends and that is what made her powerful. To this day, after 50 years she is still my friend...She has lost her father but her Mom is still living and she is very proud that her Mom is sober. We never know what is going on in someones life. I'm not making excuses. It's just life. Isnât this literally a perfect example of ânurtureâ being the cause of that girlâs bullying habits instead of ânatureâ? ...but wasnât it also you who was saying âgirls are born like thisâ?
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Post by maÉĄËnĹlÄÉ on Feb 12, 2018 12:03:20 GMT -5
Sport is a competitive environment requiring intensity and high expectations of onself and others if the team will ultimately succeed. People who canât handle when a teammate gets frustrated at a bad play shouldnât be playing sports at all. Join the book club. Kumbaya doesnât win gold medals, as we all know. The other edge to that, and kind of what raised the thread in the first place, is that you don't always find a lot of Kumbaya at book club either. I guess you can tolerate more or less of this behavior depending on the context, and it'll matter more or less depending on your goals and how much time you have to spend together, but geez, when it goes bad with a group of girls/women it can go really bad. Mental toughness is key and the work it takes for each individual to get along with the other individuals is what makes a team a family. Families can be dysfunctional, in a group of 9-12 girls plus coach you have a large variety of dynamics. When one team player acts aggressively to another member of the family it is disruptive to many individuals and can lead to lifelong emotional trauma if left unchecked. I guess at the heart of it it's about how we as adults (parents, coaches, etc) can help the team figure out how to get over their individual differences to make one another better? Also there's that video floating around of a coach calling players out for their lack of good character with their teammates (I may have seen it posted here on VT awhile back). How he won't give a kid a second look if the kid is intolerant of others or disrespectful because character is key and if that player is disrespectful of his current team than what's to say he won't bring that to his next team?! So it's not just about the victims of relational aggression in this scenario, it's also about the perceptions of the audience, recruiters, other coaches.
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