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Post by volleyguy on Nov 22, 2019 12:56:37 GMT -5
True, I suppose. There still exists a few uber-conservative or traditional corners in America where marriage and birth is not seen as strictly a woman's own choice but to be determined by the husband and their family. Although these days I would think they are now in a pretty small minority, and a decreasing minority at that. Or am I wrong? Unless the OP is referring to abortion and not simply whether to have kids in the first place, although that is a somewhat different discussion. oh no my friends always talk about having kids but i don’t think i want any. but when i say that they say then what’s the point of being here. i just don’t think i want kids. The key is to understand that figuring out what "the point of being here" means to you is the most important thing. Marriage and kids are ingrained in people from early on, for religious or practical reasons. You shouldn't allow people to make you feel that there is something wrong with you if you don't want kids. There are many practical reasons to not want kids, such as wanting financial stability first. Understanding your purpose, and actually achieving it, are two different things and require different skills or approaches. Like everything else in life, you have to find a way to navigate your personal world and the external world--you do this by asking questions, learning from your experiences, being honest with yourself and about others, etc. It's a different journey and process for each person, so don't worry too much about getting it perfect. |
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Post by mikegarrison on Nov 22, 2019 13:03:23 GMT -5
what’s the point of being here I believe there is no externally applied "point of being here". I think that if you want there to be a reason for being here, then you have to work to create one. |
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Post by holidayhusker on Nov 22, 2019 13:46:58 GMT -5
I am 17 in my senior year. I already got accepted to the college I wanted so that is good. College is a lot more about self-discipline and learning how to manage your time to study, prep for exams and complete assignments. Yes, it's also about having fun and partying too, that is part of college life, but just make sure you don't go overboard on that. So self-discipline matters a lot, especially when you are tempted by your friends to do things you may otherwise not want to. You need to learn good judgement. As for money, like I said, don't blow your cash and go into debt for silly reasons, oh that fancy dress I want that cost $30,000 or that really nice car, no, don't give in to that temptation. You can spend something nice for yourself once in a while, but again, don't go overboard on that. Self-discipline again here. You can consider getting a part-time job, just make sure you it doesn't interfere with your study, which is your priority as an undergraduate. Btw, what do you plan to major in? . Yep, awesome answers |
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Post by Wolfgang on Nov 22, 2019 14:30:51 GMT -5
Some real and honest answers to life:
1. As a teen and subsequently an adult (arguably), I did not have any money sense. Oh sure, there were plenty of books about money and plenty of mainstream magazines about personal finance, but they’re boring, right? I mostly concentrated on my studies and read science/tech geek books, as that’s the path I laid out for myself. I did not set up a monthly/yearly budget. When I was in my early 20s, I came across a little ledger-type accounting type calendar/book (that you can write in) at a drug store that was supposed to help you manage your money better. I bought it. Never used it. Just decided to focus on getting well-paying jobs, doing good work, and hopefully, the money would take care of itself. It did. It also helps that I got lucky by working in Silicon Valley during the boom years. As they say, it’s better to be lucky than good.
2. Common sense rules: don’t be a bonehead by living beyond your means, not accumulating wealth, and picking up expensive hobbies. To this day, I still clip coupons and look for sales even though I can afford to buy 10 Mercedes Benzs without impacting my bank.
3. On children, I have three, one of which is illegitimate and two legitimate. None were planned. My philosophy before my first kid was born was: don’t have kids. LOL! It all worked out as all three kids turned out great. But again, I got lucky.
4. On marriage: I married a smart and hot woman. You should never seek a dumb and unappealing spouse. Just won’t work. Don’t even go for mediocre. Go for the smartest and the hottest.
5. On worst case scenarios: what if all doesn’t work out as planned? Find and marry into a rich family. Love may follow.
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Post by Steve vb on Nov 22, 2019 14:32:04 GMT -5
True, I suppose. There still exists a few uber-conservative or traditional corners in America where marriage and birth is not seen as strictly a woman's own choice but to be determined by the husband and their family. Although these days I would think they are now in a pretty small minority, and a decreasing minority at that. Or am I wrong? Unless the OP is referring to abortion and not simply whether to have kids in the first place, although that is a somewhat different discussion. oh no my friends always talk about having kids but i don’t think i want any. but when i say that they say then what’s the point of being here. i just don’t think i want kids. When I was 15 years old, I was already pretty sure that I won't want to have kids. People should only have kids if they are certain that they want them and all the work associated with raising kids. I wouldn't have been able to walk away from my desk job if I would have had kids. Two things that I wished I would have done years earlier are to invest in housing and to finish my Master's Degree. Things I did right: never had credit card debt and didn't spend money on things that wouldn't have made me any happier, such as named-brand clothing. Therefore I was able to save each month. As "Ironhammer" referred to, the savings should go toward investments. I eventually found an investment opportunity with the money I saved and that is how I have a sense of financial freedom. After high school, the word "cash flow" became a normal part of my life decision process. |
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Post by ironhammer on Nov 22, 2019 22:41:23 GMT -5
True, I suppose. There still exists a few uber-conservative or traditional corners in America where marriage and birth is not seen as strictly a woman's own choice but to be determined by the husband and their family. Although these days I would think they are now in a pretty small minority, and a decreasing minority at that. Or am I wrong? Unless the OP is referring to abortion and not simply whether to have kids in the first place, although that is a somewhat different discussion. oh no my friends always talk about having kids but i don’t think i want any. but when i say that they say then what’s the point of being here. i just don’t think i want kids. That's peer pressure, like volleyguy said, you shouldn't do something just because your friends say you should. You should think carefully whether that is really what you want, the choice of whether to have kids is up to you and not what anyone says. Raising a kid can be full of happiness and wonder, watching that little bundle of joy grow up before your eyes is amazing. HOWEVER, being a parent is no picnic, the time and commitment to doing so is extraordinary. And it doesn't necessarily end when they turn 18, it just changes your role as a parent a bit, but you still have to be there for them to mentor and offer advice. But don't worry, you are only 17, it should at the minimum be at least several years away, you got time to think about it. As for school debt, yes it's a growing and serious problem, whether they are getting a federal or private loan, the interest rate is a killer. There are several ways to avoid or get around that. The most obvious is scholarship. You may intend to be a student-athlete, that is one way. The other is an academic scholarship, where you got good enough grades to qualify for it. Some states may also offer some debt relief programs, but I am not going to go into details on that since I don't know where you are from. Choosing which college/university to go to will also impact tuition and debt, like private vs public university, a close-by college vs a distant one and so on, although you need to balance that with how good that college is and whether the program you want to enroll in is good or not. Sometimes its worth paying more for it if it has good standing. Make sure you avoid those "for-profit" college at all cost. But you decided on a college already you say? Well in that case, that's already decided. Back in my days, I can sort of manage with a part-time job, but these days, with skyrocketing tuition fees, that is less and less an option now. If you are fortunate enough that your parents may pay for your tuition in full or partially (or you are sitting on a rich inheritence managed by a trustee), that solves a lot of problems of course. In partial cases, I know some kids have an agreement with their parents that the mom and dads will pay for one or maybe two year of tuition and the rest the kids will pay, or the parents will pay in full in expectation that the kid will return the money once they graduate and start earning, better at least than be burdened with the nasty interest rates. |
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Post by volleykenzie on Nov 22, 2019 22:46:44 GMT -5
oh no my friends always talk about having kids but i don’t think i want any. but when i say that they say then what’s the point of being here. i just don’t think i want kids. That's peer pressure, like volleyguy said, you shouldn't do something just because your friends say you should. You should think carefully whether that is really what you want, the choice of whether to have kids is up to you and not what anyone says. Raising a kid can be full of happiness and wonder, watching that little bundle of joy grow up before your eyes is amazing. HOWEVER, being a parent is no picnic, the time and commitment to doing so is extraordinary. And it doesn't necessarily end when they turn 18, it just changes your role as a parent a bit, but you still have to be there for them to mentor and offer advice. But don't worry, you are only 17, it should at the minimum be at least several years away, you got time to think about it. As for school debt, yes it's a growing and serious problem, whether they are getting a federal or private loan, the interest rate is a killer. There are several ways to avoid or get around that. The most obvious is scholarship. You may intend to be a student-athlete, that is one way. The other is an academic scholarship, where you got good enough grades to qualify for it. Some states may also offer some debt relief programs, but I am not going to go into details on that since I don't know where you are from. Choosing which college/university to go to will also impact tuition and debt, like private vs public university, a close-by college vs a distant one and so on, although you need to balance that with how good that college is and whether the program you want to enroll in is good or not. Sometimes its worth paying more for it if it has good standing. Make sure you avoid those "for-profit" college at all cost. But you decided on a college already you say? Well in that case, that's already decided. Back in my days, I can sort of manage with a part-time job, but these days, with skyrocketing tuition fees, that is less and less an option now. If you are fortunate enough that your parents may pay for your tuition in full or partially (or you are sitting on a rich inheritence managed by a trustee), that solves a lot of problems of course. In partial cases, I know some kids have an agreement with their parents that the mom and dads will pay for one or maybe two year of tuition and the rest the kids will pay, or they will in full in expectation that the kid will return the money once they graduate and start earning, better at least than be burdened with the nasty interest rates. unfortunately, my mother and i are in low middle class\high low class (if that’s a thing). so i am going to have to rely on scholarships and loans. i am hoping to find enough scholarships but i’m bad at writing essays so we will see how that goes |
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Post by ironhammer on Nov 22, 2019 22:59:55 GMT -5
That's peer pressure, like volleyguy said, you shouldn't do something just because your friends say you should. You should think carefully whether that is really what you want, the choice of whether to have kids is up to you and not what anyone says. Raising a kid can be full of happiness and wonder, watching that little bundle of joy grow up before your eyes is amazing. HOWEVER, being a parent is no picnic, the time and commitment to doing so is extraordinary. And it doesn't necessarily end when they turn 18, it just changes your role as a parent a bit, but you still have to be there for them to mentor and offer advice. But don't worry, you are only 17, it should at the minimum be at least several years away, you got time to think about it. As for school debt, yes it's a growing and serious problem, whether they are getting a federal or private loan, the interest rate is a killer. There are several ways to avoid or get around that. The most obvious is scholarship. You may intend to be a student-athlete, that is one way. The other is an academic scholarship, where you got good enough grades to qualify for it. Some states may also offer some debt relief programs, but I am not going to go into details on that since I don't know where you are from. Choosing which college/university to go to will also impact tuition and debt, like private vs public university, a close-by college vs a distant one and so on, although you need to balance that with how good that college is and whether the program you want to enroll in is good or not. Sometimes its worth paying more for it if it has good standing. Make sure you avoid those "for-profit" college at all cost. But you decided on a college already you say? Well in that case, that's already decided. Back in my days, I can sort of manage with a part-time job, but these days, with skyrocketing tuition fees, that is less and less an option now. If you are fortunate enough that your parents may pay for your tuition in full or partially (or you are sitting on a rich inheritence managed by a trustee), that solves a lot of problems of course. In partial cases, I know some kids have an agreement with their parents that the mom and dads will pay for one or maybe two year of tuition and the rest the kids will pay, or they will in full in expectation that the kid will return the money once they graduate and start earning, better at least than be burdened with the nasty interest rates. unfortunately, my mother and i are in low middle class\high low class (if that’s a thing). so i am going to have to rely on scholarships and loans. i am hoping to find enough scholarships but i’m bad at writing essays so we will see how that goes If you are intending to apply for a loan, then I suggest getting advice from someone knowledgable or with experience on it, maybe also to accompany you as well to the application process in person. You are still a kid at this point, and some of those loan companies can tempt you with sweet words and promises that don't pan out when you look at the fine print. So I would suggest an adult with knowledge on this to accompany you. If not your parent, then someone you can trust, a family friend for instance who has had prior experience and know the tricks that these loan companies engage in and the pitfalls that can result from not understanding the loan conditions. |
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Post by volleykenzie on Nov 25, 2019 21:38:11 GMT -5
what do you do when you care about someone who doesn’t care about you?
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Post by mikegarrison on Nov 25, 2019 21:41:24 GMT -5
what do you do when you care about someone who doesn’t care about you? Cry, at first. Then move on, eventually. Nothing else you can do, really. |
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Post by volleykenzie on Nov 25, 2019 21:49:42 GMT -5
any tips for writing a good essay for scholarships?
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Post by Wolfgang on Nov 25, 2019 21:50:59 GMT -5
what do you do when you care about someone who doesn’t care about you? A family member? A school friend? A dog? A stranger? |
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Post by volleykenzie on Nov 25, 2019 21:52:37 GMT -5
what do you do when you care about someone who doesn’t care about you? A family member? A school friend? A dog? A stranger? well if a dog didn’t like me then i would find a way to make sure the dog likes me. i’m talking about a really close friend. |
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Post by cindra on Nov 25, 2019 21:55:43 GMT -5
any tips for writing a good essay for scholarships? Come up with something unique. It doesn't have to be a hardship or some life-changing journey or whatever, though that helps. Write well and the depth will come naturally. I wrote my Common App essay about a bunch of bands I like and how each one relates to my personality in some way. Got a couple comments at the bottom of my acceptance letters about how they liked my essay a lot. This was 3 years ago by the way, so I'm probably a lot more current to the game than some posters  . Of course, if the scholarships are more focused than "write an essay" you'll have to bring a little more to the table. Kind of depends on what they say they're looking for. |
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Post by cindra on Nov 25, 2019 21:59:00 GMT -5
A family member? A school friend? A dog? A stranger? well if a dog didn’t like me then i would find a way to make sure the dog likes me. i’m talking about a really close friend. If it's a recent discovery, give them a bit. They might just be going through something. Let things settle before you try to tackle it with drastic measures. If things don't improve within the short term, you just have to deal with it. The sting will lessen, your relationship and feelings to them will change. Don't harbor bitterness towards them, just let things be and reevaluate where they stand in your life. Time heals all wounds. |
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