Post by Noname on Oct 2, 2004 12:45:15 GMT -5
From the Sept. 24th show. I thought it was quite humorous.
BILL MAHER: Thank you very much. How you doin'? Really? Thank you. Please. Thank you very much. Folks, okay, folks, please. If you don't sit down, you're going to embolden the enemy. That's what they're saying this week, that Kerry is emboldening the enemy. Not that the enemy is winning. President Bush and Iraqi Prime Minister Allawi – he was here this week – were here to say things are going very well in Iraq, indeed.
Although Allawi did admit there are pockets of terrorists, most of whom are in one area called “ Iraq .”. I tell you – I don't know if you saw President Bush and Allawi together this week, but they – those two – have gotten their stories straight. Some newspapers even pointed out that Allawi not only used a lot of themes that Bush uses, but some of the same phrases that are in the Bush campaign. For example, Allawi said that Iraq , “Yes, we have problems, but it's still better than when we were under the heel of a brutal flip-flopper.”
I don't know if you saw their joint news conference, but Bush – I'm not kidding about this – bragged that more Iraqis say their country is on the right track than Americans say our country…is on the right track. Boy, there's a campaign slogan for you, huh? “America : More f@#!ed up than Fallujah!”
But they are apparently going to have elections. Donald Rumsfeld said yesterday that they're gonna have elections even if it means only three-quarters of the country votes. That's what he said. He said, “Life isn't perfect. Sometimes when you have elections, you have to exclude some parts of the country.”. You know, like we did with the blacks in Florida. I kid the administration. But, boy, poor Florida. The fourth hurricane. This is amazing. The fourth hurricane this year is hitting Florida. Jeb Bush said if the state was any more devastated, his brother would declare it a complete success.
And finally, Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction this week cost CBS 550-grand. I don't know where they're going to find that kind of money at Viacom. But that's what they were fined this week. What a tough week for CBS. First the forged memos about Bush's National Guard service, and now this. Boy, CBS says they have learned their lesson: no more trying to expose boobs.
BILL MAHER: Thank you very much. How you doin'? Really? Thank you. Please. Thank you very much. Folks, okay, folks, please. If you don't sit down, you're going to embolden the enemy. That's what they're saying this week, that Kerry is emboldening the enemy. Not that the enemy is winning. President Bush and Iraqi Prime Minister Allawi – he was here this week – were here to say things are going very well in Iraq, indeed.
Although Allawi did admit there are pockets of terrorists, most of whom are in one area called “ Iraq .”. I tell you – I don't know if you saw President Bush and Allawi together this week, but they – those two – have gotten their stories straight. Some newspapers even pointed out that Allawi not only used a lot of themes that Bush uses, but some of the same phrases that are in the Bush campaign. For example, Allawi said that Iraq , “Yes, we have problems, but it's still better than when we were under the heel of a brutal flip-flopper.”
I don't know if you saw their joint news conference, but Bush – I'm not kidding about this – bragged that more Iraqis say their country is on the right track than Americans say our country…is on the right track. Boy, there's a campaign slogan for you, huh? “America : More f@#!ed up than Fallujah!”
But they are apparently going to have elections. Donald Rumsfeld said yesterday that they're gonna have elections even if it means only three-quarters of the country votes. That's what he said. He said, “Life isn't perfect. Sometimes when you have elections, you have to exclude some parts of the country.”. You know, like we did with the blacks in Florida. I kid the administration. But, boy, poor Florida. The fourth hurricane. This is amazing. The fourth hurricane this year is hitting Florida. Jeb Bush said if the state was any more devastated, his brother would declare it a complete success.
And finally, Janet Jackson's wardrobe malfunction this week cost CBS 550-grand. I don't know where they're going to find that kind of money at Viacom. But that's what they were fined this week. What a tough week for CBS. First the forged memos about Bush's National Guard service, and now this. Boy, CBS says they have learned their lesson: no more trying to expose boobs.