Post by 7thWoman on Sept 29, 2004 15:45:54 GMT -5
I understand the average volleyball player or fan would not normally be classified as a nerd, a geek, or any other such term that is often used to describe a student of the sciences, engineering sciences, or mathematical arts. However, I also understand that there are at least a handful of us on this board for whom the following jokes hit close to home. These are some of my favorites. Enjoy (and try not to get too offended). 
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Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished.
Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
A sample math problem from:
# 1960s: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit?
# 1970s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit?
# 1970s (new math): A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with set M of money. The cardinality of the set M is equal to 10, and each element of M is worth $1. Draw ten big dots representing the elements of M. The set C of production costs is composed of two big dots less than the set M. Represent C as a subset of M and give the answer to the question: What is the cardinality of the set of profits?
# 1980s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8, and his profit is $2. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss with your classmates.
# 1990s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. Discuss the result with students in your group. Write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics.
This is a one line proof...if we start sufficiently far to the left.
Some mathematicians become so tense these days that they do not go to sleep during seminars.
"Mathemeticians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists stand on each other's toes."
-- Richard Hamming
2+2=5 for large values of 2.
The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance!
A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
Q: Why do Computer Scientists get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
A: Because Oct. 31 = Dec. 25.
Q:What do you call a baby eigen-sheep?
A: A lamb, duh!
A mathemetician and an engineer are both asked to boil a pot of water that is sitting on a table. They both respond by picking the pot of water up off the table, placing it on the stove, and turning on the stove, thereby bringing the water to a boil. Then the pot of water is placed on the floor and they are asked to boil it once again. The engineer picks the pot of water up off the floor, puts it on the stove, and turns the stove on, thereby bringing the water to a boil. The mathemetican picks the pot of water up off the floor and places it on the table, because that transforms the problem into one he has already solved.
There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass is half full. The engineer says the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
A mathemetician, a scientist, and an engineer are all asked to find the volume of a red rubber ball. The mathmetician measures the radius and multiplies the cube of the radius by 4pi/3. The scientists drops the ball in a graduated cylinder and measures the amount of water it displaces. The engineer rolls the ball over in his hand until he finds the serial number, and proceeds to look up the volume in his catalog of red rubber ball volumes.
The saying that "for every epsilon there is a delta" [...] is really rather romantic, when you think about it.
Three statisticians go hunting. When they see a rabbit, the first one shoots, missing it on the left. The second one shoots and misses it on the right.
The third one shouts: "We've hit it!"
This is the point of Russell's epigram: pure mathematics is the subject in which we do not know what we are talking about, or whether what we are saying is true.
**********************************************
Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs, and 50 percent imagination.
One evening Rene Descartes went to relax at a local tavern. The tender approached and said, "Ah, good evening Monsieur Descartes! Shall I serve you the usual drink?". Descartes replied, "I think not.", and promptly vanished.
Algebraic symbols are used when you do not know what you are talking about.
A sample math problem from:
# 1960s: A peasant sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price. What is his profit?
# 1970s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His costs amount to 4/5 of his selling price, that is, $8. What is his profit?
# 1970s (new math): A farmer exchanges a set P of potatoes with set M of money. The cardinality of the set M is equal to 10, and each element of M is worth $1. Draw ten big dots representing the elements of M. The set C of production costs is composed of two big dots less than the set M. Represent C as a subset of M and give the answer to the question: What is the cardinality of the set of profits?
# 1980s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His production costs are $8, and his profit is $2. Underline the word "potatoes" and discuss with your classmates.
# 1990s: A farmer sells a bag of potatoes for $10. His or her production costs are 0.80 of his or her revenue. On your calculator, graph revenue vs. costs. Run the POTATO program to determine the profit. Discuss the result with students in your group. Write a brief essay that analyzes this example in the real world of economics.
This is a one line proof...if we start sufficiently far to the left.
Some mathematicians become so tense these days that they do not go to sleep during seminars.
"Mathemeticians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists stand on each other's toes."
-- Richard Hamming
2+2=5 for large values of 2.
The generation of random numbers is too important to leave to chance!
A circle is a round straight line with a hole in the middle.
Q: Why do Computer Scientists get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
A: Because Oct. 31 = Dec. 25.
Q:What do you call a baby eigen-sheep?
A: A lamb, duh!
A mathemetician and an engineer are both asked to boil a pot of water that is sitting on a table. They both respond by picking the pot of water up off the table, placing it on the stove, and turning on the stove, thereby bringing the water to a boil. Then the pot of water is placed on the floor and they are asked to boil it once again. The engineer picks the pot of water up off the floor, puts it on the stove, and turns the stove on, thereby bringing the water to a boil. The mathemetican picks the pot of water up off the floor and places it on the table, because that transforms the problem into one he has already solved.
There are 10 types of people in the world, those who understand binary and those who don't.
The pessimist says the glass is half empty. The optimist says the glass is half full. The engineer says the glass is twice the size it needs to be.
A mathemetician, a scientist, and an engineer are all asked to find the volume of a red rubber ball. The mathmetician measures the radius and multiplies the cube of the radius by 4pi/3. The scientists drops the ball in a graduated cylinder and measures the amount of water it displaces. The engineer rolls the ball over in his hand until he finds the serial number, and proceeds to look up the volume in his catalog of red rubber ball volumes.
The saying that "for every epsilon there is a delta" [...] is really rather romantic, when you think about it.
Three statisticians go hunting. When they see a rabbit, the first one shoots, missing it on the left. The second one shoots and misses it on the right.
The third one shouts: "We've hit it!"
This is the point of Russell's epigram: pure mathematics is the subject in which we do not know what we are talking about, or whether what we are saying is true.
