OK, since noah121 started with the physics jokes:
Up in heaven, three great physicsts were playing hide and go seek: Newton, Pascal, and Einstein. It was Einsteins turn to seek, so Einstein closed his eyes and counted to 10 while pascal and newton went to hide. Pascal hid behind a tree, but Newton just stood there and drew a 1 meter by 1 meter box around him on the ground. when Einstein was done counting, he opened his eyes and said, "Newton, what are you doing? you're supposed to hide! you're out!" And Newton replied, "No, you're wrong, im not Newton, im Pascal! See, I'm one Newton per square meter! Pascal is out!"
A mathematician walks into a bar and asks for ten times the normal number of drinks anyone else has. ¡°Wow,¡± says the barkeep, ¡°That¡¯s an order of magnitude.¡±
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says ¡°You¡¯re all idiots¡±, and pours two beers.
A mathematician and an engineer agreed to take part in a psychological test. They sat on one side of a room and waited not knowing what to expect. A door opened on the other side and a naked woman came in the room and stood on the far side. They were then instructed that every time they heard a beep they could move half the remaining distance to the woman. They heard a beep and the engineer jumped up and moved halfway across the room while the mathematician continued to sit, looking disgusted and bored. When the mathematician didn¡¯t move after the second beep he was asked why. ¡°Because I know I will never reach the woman.¡± The engineer was asked why he chose to move and replied, ¡°Because I know that very soon I will be close enough for all practical purposes!¡±
A physicist a mathematician and an engineer are standing in a field ¨C each are given equal amounts of fencing and are told to fence in as many sheep as possible. The engineer buildings a strong stable square of a sheep pen; the physicist builds a circular pen declaring his design can hold the most sheep. The mathematician builds another circular fence ¨C sits inside his creation and says ¡°I declare I am outside.¡±
a biologist, engineer and mathematician were having coffee on the patio across the street they watch as two people walk into a house. a few minutes later, three people leave the house. they start to discuss how that could happen
biologist: the two people copulated, reproduced and three people leave the house
engineer: that¡¯s wrong, our initial observation must have been erroneous.
mathematician: you¡¯re both wrong. if another person enters the house it will be empty again