Post by Barefoot In Kailua on Jan 27, 2004 3:23:07 GMT -5
By Linda Robertson
Knight Ridder Newspapers (KRT)
January 23, 2004
You can call Sept Blatter a troglodyte for saying women soccer players could attract more fans if they wore tighter shorts.
Or you can acknowledge that the man running the most popular sport on earth did not rise to such a powerful position by being stupid.
Sept knows: Sex sells.
Will spectators watch an athlete sheerly on the basis of how attractive she is? Silly question. Anna Kournikova has never won a tournament, yet she remains one of the most celebrated and lusted-after players in tennis.
Brandi Chastain is known more for stripping off her soccer jersey than for scoring the winning goal in the 1999 World Cup on a penalty kick.
With that in mind, let's forget about why the objectification of woman's bodies makes how they look more important than what they do. Let's forget about how reducing women to titillating terms encourages sexist attitudes in the workplace and in relationships. Let's forget about the gender politics that suppress the status of more than half the world's population. Let's forget that women's beach volleyball with suntan lotion ads stretched across bikini bottoms hasn't exactly supplanted the NFL. Let's not be uptight on this issue. Let's follow Sept's suggestive suggestion and Blatterize other fringe sports. Hey, let's make all sports more sexy!
Boost Some Ratings
Women's wrestling will be the only new sport at the Athens Olympics. Incredibly fit women entangled in a physical game of chess? Well, men's wrestling hasn't hit prime time despite those creeping single's. So if they really want to pack the arena for the women's matches, they ought to fill the ring with mud or jello. Forget NBC. Put it on the Playboy Channel.
Bowling needs help. Lots of help. One word for those backside TV angles: Thongs.
LPGA commissioners have often encouraged female golfers to show more leg, wear more makeup and in general look more feminine. Come on, gals. If you really want fans to flock to your tournaments, put on high-heeled spikes.
Men's golf — dull as a divot — could use a hunk now that Tiger Woods is engaged. Shed those conservative duds and sign Abercrombie & Fitch as fashion consultant.
Water polo players wear two swimming suits because all the grabbing and yanking results in torn lycra and dangling anatomy. Water polo deserves a boost. Wear tear-away suits instead.
Who Needs Clothes?
And the advent of bodysuits in swimming — although they do hug the contours of the body — has created a longing for the teeny-weeny Speedos of yesteryear. We want pecs!
End the ban on sleeveless shirts on the men's tennis tour. Give James Blake more exposure. In fact, allow midriff tops. We want abs!
The WNBA is struggling. If women's basketball could somehow Christina Aguilera-ize its look. Chaps and bikini underwear may slow the fast break, but the league needs viewers.
Figure skating has hit a lull. Ditch the classical music. Play Lil' Kim tunes. And get her costume designer working with Michelle Kwan, Sasha Cohen and Michael Weiss.
An immodest proposal for men's basketball: Go retro. Go back to the hot pants Magic and Pete Maravich used to wear.
NASCAR sure has an earthy appeal, but, boy, could it use some sex appeal. That's problematic due to the need for fireproof jumpsuits. Perhaps amid the champagne spraying in victory lane the drivers could take it off. Take it all off, including the frumpy sponsor caps.
In fact, the ancient Greeks had it right. Sports in the nude. Why not? We're living in puritanical times, and sports can take us back to our sensual roots.
That's unrealistic in this country. Maybe the answer lies in the Lingerie Bowl concept. Women in underwear, lacy bras and helmets will play tackle football during half-time of the Feb. 1 Super Bowl on pay-per-view TV.
Next thing you know, the LFL.
Talk about a fantasy league.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I say the more skin, the better.
It's all Brandi's fault
Knight Ridder Newspapers (KRT)
January 23, 2004
You can call Sept Blatter a troglodyte for saying women soccer players could attract more fans if they wore tighter shorts.
Or you can acknowledge that the man running the most popular sport on earth did not rise to such a powerful position by being stupid.
Sept knows: Sex sells.
Will spectators watch an athlete sheerly on the basis of how attractive she is? Silly question. Anna Kournikova has never won a tournament, yet she remains one of the most celebrated and lusted-after players in tennis.
Brandi Chastain is known more for stripping off her soccer jersey than for scoring the winning goal in the 1999 World Cup on a penalty kick.
With that in mind, let's forget about why the objectification of woman's bodies makes how they look more important than what they do. Let's forget about how reducing women to titillating terms encourages sexist attitudes in the workplace and in relationships. Let's forget about the gender politics that suppress the status of more than half the world's population. Let's forget that women's beach volleyball with suntan lotion ads stretched across bikini bottoms hasn't exactly supplanted the NFL. Let's not be uptight on this issue. Let's follow Sept's suggestive suggestion and Blatterize other fringe sports. Hey, let's make all sports more sexy!
Boost Some Ratings
Women's wrestling will be the only new sport at the Athens Olympics. Incredibly fit women entangled in a physical game of chess? Well, men's wrestling hasn't hit prime time despite those creeping single's. So if they really want to pack the arena for the women's matches, they ought to fill the ring with mud or jello. Forget NBC. Put it on the Playboy Channel.
Bowling needs help. Lots of help. One word for those backside TV angles: Thongs.
LPGA commissioners have often encouraged female golfers to show more leg, wear more makeup and in general look more feminine. Come on, gals. If you really want fans to flock to your tournaments, put on high-heeled spikes.
Men's golf — dull as a divot — could use a hunk now that Tiger Woods is engaged. Shed those conservative duds and sign Abercrombie & Fitch as fashion consultant.
Water polo players wear two swimming suits because all the grabbing and yanking results in torn lycra and dangling anatomy. Water polo deserves a boost. Wear tear-away suits instead.
Who Needs Clothes?
And the advent of bodysuits in swimming — although they do hug the contours of the body — has created a longing for the teeny-weeny Speedos of yesteryear. We want pecs!
End the ban on sleeveless shirts on the men's tennis tour. Give James Blake more exposure. In fact, allow midriff tops. We want abs!
The WNBA is struggling. If women's basketball could somehow Christina Aguilera-ize its look. Chaps and bikini underwear may slow the fast break, but the league needs viewers.
Figure skating has hit a lull. Ditch the classical music. Play Lil' Kim tunes. And get her costume designer working with Michelle Kwan, Sasha Cohen and Michael Weiss.
An immodest proposal for men's basketball: Go retro. Go back to the hot pants Magic and Pete Maravich used to wear.
NASCAR sure has an earthy appeal, but, boy, could it use some sex appeal. That's problematic due to the need for fireproof jumpsuits. Perhaps amid the champagne spraying in victory lane the drivers could take it off. Take it all off, including the frumpy sponsor caps.
In fact, the ancient Greeks had it right. Sports in the nude. Why not? We're living in puritanical times, and sports can take us back to our sensual roots.
That's unrealistic in this country. Maybe the answer lies in the Lingerie Bowl concept. Women in underwear, lacy bras and helmets will play tackle football during half-time of the Feb. 1 Super Bowl on pay-per-view TV.
Next thing you know, the LFL.
Talk about a fantasy league.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I say the more skin, the better.
It's all Brandi's fault
