Found this on someone's profile thought I'd share it since the issue of same-sex marriage issue was brought up.
Straight But Not Narrow
I was going to leave the gay marriage issue alone just
to save myself some grief.
But then I thought, what fun would that be? Somebody's
got to irritate the self-righteous folks who tell the
rest of us how to live, and it might as
well be me.
You know who you are, so get your writing implements
ready because you'll want to damn me to hell by the
time we're done here.
For me, there is one central question in the whole gay
marriage controversy: What do you care?
What difference does it make in your own life if two
gays or lesbians get married? It simply mystifies me
that you feel threatened by this. What possible harm
could it do in your personal, little life whether the
two guys living at the end of your block say "I do"?
I keep hearing the same pat answer from your prophets
of doom - that allowing homosexuals to marry will
"destroy the institution of marriage."
Well I gotta' tell you, a lot of gays and lesbians
have been getting married in San Francisco lately, and
so far my own institution of marriage is doing just
fine. I checked. When I heard they were lining up for
licenses, I asked my husband if he felt our marriage
was going downhill on account of it. He just ignored
the question and wanted to know what kind of
perennials I thought we should put in this spring.
I took that as a good sign. Perennials are an
investment in the future, so I figure he's sticking
around despite what those homosexuals are doing.
So, self-righteous folks, I guess I'm wondering what's
wrong with your own marriages that you feel so
threatened by another couple's happiness. Are
you unable to sustain a good sexual relationship,
knowing that two gay guys are sleeping together in
wedded bliss? Are you unable to have an intimate
conversation with your spouse because you're
distracted by the notion of two women going off on a
honeymoon?
Because if your marriage is that unstable, you should
stop worrying about what others are doing and tend to
your own problems before your divorce contributes to
the decline of the institution of marriage.
I've given this a lot of thought, and I've completely
failed to come up with ways that gay marriage will
have an impact on your life. It won't raise
your taxes. It won't cause the kid who shovels your
driveway to quit. It won't make your laundry dingy. It
won't alter the weather. It won't cause your dog to
start passing gas. It won't affect your relationship
with God. It won't cause you to develop a tumor on
your head.
Those of you who would talk about grand concepts like
society and institutions and pillars and guideposts
and moral fibers and whatnot, I say this is just your
excuse for meddling. And history has shown us that
nothing good ever comes of meddling in other people's
affairs. Every time Christians showed up to mess with
heathens, for example, we just ended up with a lot of
unhappy heathens with syphilis and smallpox.
Those of you who would point out that the dictionary
definition of the word "marriage" involves a man and a
woman, let me point out that the dictionary is a
living, breathing document that changes as word usage
changes. If you doubt it, look up the word "dot" in a
current edition.
We the people get to decide what's in the dictionary.
The dictionary doesn't get to dictate our societal
conventions. Your hair isn't going to catch on
fire if the definition of marriage is eventually
changed to read, "two consenting adults" instead of
"man and woman."
As for the Bible, which is always the last refuge for
those of you who want to impose your will on us
savages, we're not all reading out of the same
book. More fundamentally, the Bible is not a legal
document. If it were, those who fail to love one
another would be rounded up and thrown in jail. The
prison budget would go through the roof what with all
the new cells we'd be needing for the neighbor haters.
I have only this advice to offer those of you who
oppose gay marriage: Don't marry a homosexual.
If you're a man and you don't want to marry another
man, for crying out loud, stick to your guns! That
would be a terrible idea. You'd be miserable! Same for
women. Marry someone of the opposite sex if that's
your personal preference.
After all, no one's got the right to meddle in your
private affairs.
