How do you deal with Discipline?

[mommy]

My husband and I run a fairly large club and he and I always go back and forth on how we should discipline a kid for such things as; being late, not calling or showing up to practice, not being a good teammate... I think we should discipline (few sprints at the start of practice after we address the situation in front of the team) the whole team for her poor decision and then be done with it. My husband thinks we should discipline the girl who's fault it was. I really want our girls to think about the TEAM first and not about them. To keep them accountable to each other. Thanks for your ideas.

[BuckysHeat]

Are the players habitually late? If so, that is an issue. If they are late once or twice during the season, it is usually out of their control - traffic, school work, parents running late, etc. Why is any discipline needed in this situation? Discipline in front of the entire group is demeaning to the player involved and is a terrible practice. You lay out the rules at the beginning of the season and then just do them, don't make a player an example, that only creates resentment.

Please do define "not being a good teammate" as well. This is subjective and unless players are talking about each other and creating divisions within the team is not well defined

[BuckysHeat]

One other point, one of my daughters had an 8th grade middle school coach who would punish the entire team for a single players infractions (typically these were undefined to all except the coaches whims). The players learned to hate the coach and do all they could to avoid being punished by lying and being sneaky. Great lessons learned

[preschooler]

One of my favorite club coaches 15 's basically organized their philosophy on this like a job. We are a team we got a job and I am the boss who is going to teach you how to be a good teammate and you can apply these skills to when you get that first real job.

Held and orientation meeting gave and discussed season plan schedule expectations clarified questions.

To address missing/ late you had sort of a "leave balance 3-5 during the season and the play had to notify the coach prior. If that was done no consequences. If bank was exhausted they had a meeting to discuss and problem solve.
"Bad teammate" was discussed at beginning of season with a hold each other accountable and for most part they did during practice and tournaments.

They did run lines etc but that was conditioning warm up stuff more than punishment. Although there was a team time goal often.

There were a few off court issues that year that I was privy to as chaperone poor life choices type that were dealt with with parents/player and loss of playing time.

[mikegarrison]

My advice is to always have a safe word.

[flibbertigibbet]

Jun 23, 2017 18:49:34 GMT -5 mikegarrison said:

My advice is to always have a safe word.

Ooohh Kinky

[volleylearner]

Jun 23, 2017 8:53:57 GMT -5 mommy said:

My husband and I run a fairly large club and he and I always go back and forth on how we should discipline a kid for such things as; being late, not calling or showing up to practice, not being a good teammate... I think we should discipline (few sprints at the start of practice after we address the situation in front of the team) the whole team for her poor decision and then be done with it. My husband thinks we should discipline the girl who's fault it was. I really want our girls to think about the TEAM first and not about them. To keep them accountable to each other. Thanks for your ideas.

I would encourage you to try to think in terms of positive feedback for the players that do things right (e.g., show up on time) than punishing those who don't. Of course the net effect can be the same with playing time and extra work, but it is better to develop motivation to do what's right.

Here's a Positive Coaching note with some suggestions about missing practice:

devzone.positivecoach.org/resource/article/how-deal-players-missing-practice

PCA Response by Joe Scally, PCA Trainer-Chicago

Coaches can consider a variety of solutions when players missing practice becomes a chronic problem. They can prevent the problem to begin with by holding dynamic practices that players want to attend. A dynamic practice usually entails a written practice plan with activities that keep players moving and involved, bringing a positive attitude and high energy level to practice.

Another key is setting clear expectations for attendance with players and their parents, which may vary depending on the players’ age and the competitive level of the league. Let them know what you consider acceptable reasons for missing a practice (i.e., illness, family events, religious obligations, games or practices for other sports, homework or school activities, etc.). Explain that you like having players at practice because you care about their development as players and people, and make it clear how to notify you in advance of anticipated absences.

Discuss this issue with the whole team, inviting their input on the importance of practice and how absences affect the team. Hearing from teammates may motivate players to attend practice as often as possible. You might prepare the team captains or other leaders to facilitate this discussion. It’s important to stay positive and avoid blaming, accusing or singling out players.

Again, depending on age and competitive level, reward the players who practice the most and the hardest with extra starts or playing time, the chance to try a new position, being a captain for the next game, or getting a sticker or other symbolic reward.

Still, players may miss practice, and you will need to set consequences, such as not starting, less playing time, or an extra physical activity. Consequences should be appropriate for the age and competitive level, and physical consequences should not punish players, but should help them make up for work they have missed. When considering consequences, remember that younger players depend on someone else to get them to practice and may miss even when they want to be there. If older players are getting themselves to practice it is important to let parents know when their children miss practice.

[ironhammer]

How to deal with discipline issues? PUNISHMENT. Or at least that was how my coach dealt with it way back in my playing days. Of course, me being a guy and playing on a male team also meant we are less concerned with "hurting the feelings" of those at fault. Let me tell you, in those...less enlightened times, no one cared about touchy feely sensitivities, you screwed up, you pay for it.

These days, with a modern and progressive style to coaching, I doubt the harsh methods will be tolerated. Public humiliation...may be too extreme for minor infractions, having a private word with them might be the better way to go.

[Deleted]

Not "punishment."

Consequences.

[ironhammer]

Jun 24, 2017 1:57:29 GMT -5 @allamerican11 said:

Not "punishment."

Consequences.

A matter of semantics. Consequences could be good or bad, but punishment...that's always negative...and you usually have a somewhat clearer idea what it is, consequences is a bit on the vague side.

But I get these days, punishment is a bit too blunt...so consequences will suffice.

[mommy]

This is all very helpful. Thank you for those that replied.

[redbeard2008]

Whips and chains...

I always hated the punish the group for the sins of an individual thing. Sometimes the guilty party will step forward, but mostly it encourages ratting people out, which is not good for group cohesion.

[Wolfgang]

Not necessarily about vb but when I was in junior high school (a Catholic school at that), my teacher (a nun) implemented a discipline system whereby if any kid acts up or is otherwise noisy and disruptive, two or three other students would get up and stand next to that kid and apply some stare down peer pressure to put that kid in his/her place. It worked initially because of the novelty of the system. But over time, I grew to like it because of the extra attention it gave me. Whenever I acted up, the three girls I had a crush on always got up and stood next to me and tried to stare me down, which I absolutely frikkin' loved! That was, like, my dream come true!

The lesson: be wary of any form of "punishment" that gives the kid extra attention from the group because at that age, they may love it.

[volleyguy]

Jun 24, 2017 14:46:59 GMT -5 mommy said:

This is all very helpful. Thank you for those that replied.

I think the key is to be flexible enough to adjust to what works. When I was waiting at jiu jitsu training for 8 to 12 year olds, the loser of a match had to do 50 push-ups. A group of boys were all good friends, and whenever anyone lost and had to do push-ups, the whole group decided on their own that they would all do the 50 push-ups together regardless of who won or lost.

[bigfan]

Time OUT?