OT - I'm bored I'm bored I'm bored

[fanofvb]

I have waaaayyyyy too much time on my hands, I'm babysitting my whiny nephews, and I needed a good distraction. Check Volleytalk, I say to myself. And what do I find? Nuttin!!!!!! So I think to myself, I can start a big fight. I can put up something about someone (especially best is irritating the Hawaii contingent)... but I couldn't bring myself to do it. So I continue to surf in the hope of relieving my boredom. I was so bored that I found the following amusing. PLEASE someone post something juicy about something volleyball related!!!

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut
The Story of a Wicket Woof and a Ladle Gull
by H.L. Chace
(Check out the entire contents of Anguish Languish, courtesy of Kevin Rice.)

WANTS PAWN TERM, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage, honor itch offer lodge, dock, florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, and fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.
Wan moaning, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset.

"Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groin-murder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker Lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum- stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!"

"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft.

Honor wrote tudor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof.

"Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"

"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's." reprisal ladle gull. "Grammar's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles."

"O hoe! Heifer gnats woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den -- O bore!"

Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinny retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet. Inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet, paunched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk ratchet ammonol pot honor groin-murder's nut cup an gnat gun, any curdled ope inner bet.

Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough ball. "Comb ink, sweat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse.

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity bet rum, an stud buyer groin-murder's bet.

"O Grammar!" crater ladle gull historically, "Water bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!"

"Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat hard," setter bloat- Thursday woof, wetter wicket small honors phase.

"O Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomalous prognosis!"

"Battered small your whiff, doling," whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse waddling.

"O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"

Daze worry on-forger-nut's ladle gull's lest warts. Oil offer sodden, caking offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard-hoarded woof lipped own pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt.

Mural: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.

[georgia(pacific)girl]

An whittle ditto gad dat? Hissin berry fuddy.

[fanofvb]

www.justanyone.com/allanguish.html

sigh

[Wolfgang]

MR. MCQUIRE: Ben, I just want to say one word to you - just one word...
BEN: Yes, sir.
MR. MCQUIRE: Are you listening?
BEN: Yes I am.
MR. MCQUIRE: (gravely) Plastics.

They look at each other for a moment.

BEN: Exactly how do you mean?
MR. MCQUIRE: There is a great future in plastics. Think about it. Will you think about it?
BEN: Yes, I will.
MR. MCQUIRE: Okay. Enough said. That's a deal.

[Overlycheerful]

Buck Henry wrote it.

[Wolfgang]

Compare:

If you really want to hear about it, the first thing you'll probably want to know is where I was born, and what my lousy childhood was like, and how my parents were occupied and all before they had me, and all that David Copperfield kind of crap, but I don't feel like going into it. In the first place, that stuff bores me, and in the second place, my parents would have about two hemorrhages apiece if I told anything pretty personal about them.
-- "The Catcher in the Rye" by J. D. Salinger (1951)

with,

You don't know about me, without you have read a book by the name of "The Adventures of Tom Sawyer," but that ain't no matter. That book was made by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I never seen anybody but lied, one time or another, without it was Aunt Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly -- Tom's Aunt Polly, she is -- and Mary, and the Widow Douglas, is all told about in that book -- which is mostly a true book; with some stretchers, as I said before.
--"The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" by Mark Twain (1885)


And compare:

Call me Jonah. My parents did, or nearly did. They called me John.
"Cat's Cradle" by Kurt Vonnegut (1974)

with,

My father's family name being Pirrip, and my christian name Philip, my infant tongue could make of both names nothing longer or more explicit that Pip. So, I called myself Pip, and came to be called Pip.
--"Great Expectations" by Charles Dickens (1861)

[Overlycheerful]

OK.

Now what?

[Overlycheerful]

With:

My life, to this point, has been a succession of failures, not the least of which was my failure to bond with my Mother. I am told the whole messy process was a huge disappointment to her, and she expressed as much to anyone who would listen, including the doctor who delivered me. He, according to family legend, replied that he too was singularly unimpressed.

It is not for me to speculate on the effects such an inauspicious debut had on my future misfortunes; I will leave that to you, dear reader.

Name that author.

[FemalesAreWimps]

i know guys that waste their time analyzing women's volleyball are weird but this is taking it to another level.

Yeah if all I did was talk about these women's inferior play all day I'd be a bored stiff too.

bwahahaha!

[Overlycheerful]

Bite me.

[BonJoeV]

This is the 106,490,453rd post on this forum. I think I'm bored too. How many more days until spring ball starts?

GO VANDALS!!

[Mumsie]

BonJoeV said:

This is the 106,490,453rd post on this forum. I think I'm bored too. How many more days until spring ball starts?

GO VANDALS!!

Just an approximate guess: 77?

[Wolfgang]

(P)uffdaddy! said:

With:

My life, to this point, has been a succession of failures, not the least of which was my failure to bond with my Mother. I am told the whole messy process was a huge disappointment to her, and she expressed as much to anyone who would listen, including the doctor who delivered me. He, according to family legend, replied that he too was singularly unimpressed.

It is not for me to speculate on the effects such an inauspicious debut had on my future misfortunes; I will leave that to you, dear reader.

Name that author.

Oooh, this is a good one. I felt like I read this before or "heard" it in a movie somewhere but I can't quite place it. I know I read it because it is familiar. Normally, I would have guessed Dickens because his writing style is similar to your passage but then the inclusion of "bond with" excludes it. The phrase "bond with" is, I think, a modern invention.

I thought it might be "The World According to Garp" (Irving) but I think the opening paragraph is about his mother in a movie theater and it's in 3rd person, not 1st. Then, I thought it might be "Angela's Ashes" (McCourt), but I think his opening paragraph is about growing up Irish Catholic, which is horrific first for being Irish and second for being Catholic. Something funny like that.

Where is this passage from? Now I'm curious.

[Overlycheerful]

Actually, it was something I wrote off the top of my head.

Probably why you found it so derivative. Not an ounce of originality in me, I'm afraid.

[Wolfgang]

Very very famous opening line in literature:

"It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife."

Or a Porsche Poxster. Still true today. Who wrote it?